Me, Me, Me

Hello my fellow humans.

Long thoughts in bullet form

• In a world where we often hear about the worst in humanity or bad things because that is what generates clicks, views, subscribers, attention, etc, etc, etc. I was confronted the other day by the simple kindness that still exists in the human condition. During one of my early morning (we're talking around 4:15 AM) this week, while the snow still made things both interesting and less straight-forward than usual, I was climbing a hill next to a generally busy suburban thoroughfare. A car stopped in the intersection of a subdivision up ahead of me. I suppose it looked like I was A. homeless and B. struggling because this man asked if I needed help getting anywhere. At first I didn't hear him because I had my wireless headphones in, so I took them out and he asked if I needed help. I laughed and said, "No, sir, I'm just taking my morning walk. I appreciate the concern, that was very kind of you." He also laughed, nodded his head in a slightly incredulous way and proceeded about his day (or perhaps night as it seemed he might have been coming home from a night shift). In any case, people care about others. This is important to remember.
• February 17th, 18th, and 19th are three very important days for basketball junkies. February 17th is Michael Jordan's birthday, widely considered the greatest player of all-time. February 19th is Nikola Jokic's birthday, a delightful current player who could be on his way to becoming the greatest European big man of all-time. And February 18th was the birthday of someone who loves basketball at an unhealthy level but has such an infinitesimally small level of athletic skill that it never had a chance of becoming a notable basketball day.
• My daughter came down from bed this morning and asked, "Dad, is it still your birthday?" I said, "Nope, just another day." She then proceeded to cry. At first, I found this sweet and endearing because I thought she was mourning the end of my special day... The great irony and excellent encapsulation of humanity that the moment actually depicted was that she was upset it wasn't her birthday yet (it comes in approximately two weeks). I was profoundly struck by this situation. I tried to comfort her by letting her know it's ok to be upset and that waiting for a special day is one of the things that makes it special, but she just continued to cry and cry. I gave her some space and I felt a sickening feeling in my stomach. I felt I had failed as a parent that this child would be so self-centered that she would be sobbing over the fact that it wasn't her birthday yet... I quickly came to my senses about that, admitting that children, especially one as young as her, can't fully grasp the concept of selflessness so young and that I was being too hard on her and myself. But what I slowly realized is that I am her and she is us. We are so selfish in everything that we do, it is utterly astounding. I understand how contradictory this is for me to say after mentioning the good in humans above, but it is the uncomfortable truth we so often shy away from when going about our everyday lives. We are unbelievably selfish beings and I am no exception. Here are some examples from recent events to how large swaths of our world are incredibly selfish:
• Here is this thing that will help slow a disease that is killing 3,000 people a day in the country you live it. It is a minimal inconvenience but will help save people lives. Will you use it?
• No, my rights are infringed upon and I don't like the way it feels on my face.
• A man was shot by police multiple times and is now permanently incapacitated and/or dead. 
• What did he do wrong? He probably deserved it.
• If you stop going out to bars during the weekend, you will probably help curb the effects of a disease killing thousands of people.
• Will I die? No? Ok, I'm down to clown.
• You can have this meeting in-person or you can do it virtually. An in-person meeting will carry a certain amount of inherent risk, even if all precautions are followed and an even greater risk if all precautions are not followed.
• Well, it's just not the "same" meeting virtually and I'm sick of Zoom. Also see my answer to question one. I'm meeting in person because it's my right and I miss people.
• And that's just the tip of the iceberg. We, as humans, are selfish. Whether you believe because it's some kind of animalistic survival instinct because we are a higher form of animal evolution or because you believe in original sin or you think that self-interest is some sort of tier in the pyramid of self-realization that all humans start at the bottom. The trick is we are called, or at least that is what I believe, to combat this selfishness. To fight these impulses everyday with all that we've got and to serve others.

(Ok, it seems the bullets can no longer contain this stream of consciousness...)

We live at a time where there is a lot of focus on the concept of "self-care." And I understand that in some cases it is absolutely necessary to take care of oneself, especially as it pertains to mental illness and things of that ilk. But I would warn people to be able to differentiate between necessary actions against those kinds of things and thinking that the world revolves around you, your happiness, and your well-being.

I am not absolved of this problem. I think I am one of the most covert selfish people I know. I am able to internalize a lot of my self-serving thoughts and disguise what are actually selfish actions as neutral ones. But I am really trying to break out of that cycle because I have recently discovered (or perhaps re-discovered) that one of the best nouns to describe Jesus while He was on Earth was servant. Even if you don't believe that Jesus was the Son of God and God himself in human form, the example he sets in the Bible can still be used as a template as to how to act when you are a part of a society. 

When He encountered sick people, he didn't say, "Welp, sorry you don't have health care. Maybe you should have eaten a better diet and exercised more." He healed the sick. He sympathized with the sick. He gave them mercy. When He encountered someone who had committed sexually related sin, He didn't give her up to the Pharisees to be humiliated and murdered. He said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Then, when no one could claim perfection and they all left, He didn't guilt the woman. He encouraged her to live a life of purpose in Him. When He knew that Judas would betray Him and be the reason for His eventual crucifixion, one of the most excruciating ways to die that humans have come up with in our twisted history of torture and murder, you know what Jesus did? HE WASHED THAT SON OF GUNS FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He didn't blame him or drop a drone bomb on him or throw him in jail or kill him. He treated him like a friend, like a master.

I hope you are doing well. I hope that where ever it is you are reading this from, you are safe, full, and loved. Some people in this world are not. Some people in this country are not. Some people in your city are not. Some people in your neighborhood are probably not. Join me in seeking these people out and trying to fill their cup, whether that cup be physical, mental, or emotional. I love you all or at least I am really trying to, continually failing, admitting that failure, and trying again. Join me in doing the same.

As Paul writes to the church in Ephesus:

'Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.' Ephesians 4:2 NIV 

2021 Resolution Tracker

Moses Miles Walked: 236.4 miles

Bible Progress: Judges 14 (I am currently re-strategizing my approach to this with Lent upon us...)

Books Read: 5

    Completed 

• The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons review here
• Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller review here
• The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick review here
• The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers review here
• Inspired: ... and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans review here

    Currently Reading

I am at an existential crossroads in regards to my plan moving forward with my book goal. I don't know whether to attack the books I am most excited to read or read those I have immediate access to or continue my proposed plans of going in a non-fiction, religious, fiction reading rotation. I'm sure you'll be on pins and needles to see what happens next.