The Perpetual Plank

 I often feel as if I have so many sins inside me that, at any moment, they could burst out of me like toothpaste from its tube. I have never had the issue of admitting to being sinful, from either a Christian or humanist perspective. Biblically speaking, I lie, I lust, I covet, I do not serve my neighbor, I do not love God or others fully. From a non-religious perspective, outwardly at least, I seem like an alright person. I try not to offend anybody's sensibilities, I try to respect various perspectives and life outlooks, and I do my best to spread positive vibes. But even using a slightly more loose "criteria of goodness" honestly, I still suck as a human. Regardless of perspective, I utterly fail. Day in and day out, it's a comedy of errors. I am always looking to improve and avoid these errors but I am constantly losing the battle.

But, without a doubt in my mind, my biggest, most egregious sin is judgement. I judge everything. I judge people. I judge places. I judge things. Every time I wander into the dangerous world of social media, an avalanche of judgmental stream of consciousness enters my mind with the force of a typhoon. Sally seems to be a bit full of herself with that post. Joey seems to be a tad racist with that post. Beth is complaining about her first world problems again, maybe she should keep those to herself. Steve is on his high horse about world poverty again. Jill is posting vacation pictures, maybe she should have donated that money to poor people... on and on and on. I can't help it. And you might be thinking to yourself, "Well the solution is obvious, just delete social media!" BINGO, BANGO, BONGO!

Unfortunately, social media isn't the only place where this judgement occurs. Every encounter with another human is instant judgement. I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND WHAT I 'THINK' THEY ARE DOING WRONG!!!!!!!!!

I say this today not to collect sympathy or to have people contact me later and say, "Hey, don't sweat it, you're an alright person doing your best, don't worry about it." Honestly, I'm just venting about how pathetic I am. It's kind of cathartic to type it all out. And the 10 people who might read this will get to snicker about me and shake their head at what they might perceive as absurdity. So, perhaps, I can provide some humorous relief while simultaneously making myself feel a little better by pounding the keys of my keyboard as I type this.

However, I would like to bring this around to be less about me and more about everyone. Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount the following about this topic:

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:1-3

In an ironic twist of irony, the Bible verse I have most often quote out loud to others in my life is probably Matthew 7:1 ("Judge not, lest ye be judged," I use the King James version for extra pretentiousness and judginess), partially because it is so easy to remember and rolls off the tongue and partially because I have constantly JUDGED OTHER PEOPLE FOR JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I have quoted this at them like some sort of saint when really, I am most likely deflecting away from the fact that I am a pathetic and miserable judge of anything and everything that I come into contact with.

Jesus tells me that while I am worried about Jill's vacation pictures and her humblebrag, I am sitting over here hording my own money for Heaven-Knows-What personal pursuits in no better a situation to help the poor myself. The plank in my eye is so heavy, it's a shock I don't fall over from the weight of it on an hourly basis. I have admitted this to you. I continually admit it to God. I know this to be true. And yet, the self-destructive cycle of this judgement is so over-whelming that I have decided to go on a 1,000-word plus rant about it that has no cohesiveness, thesis statement, or solution.

I promise I'm not a lunatic. I suppose I just needed a few people to know that I am sorry for judging you and others. The specks I see on a minute-by-minute basis blind me from the love and forgiveness that Jesus Christ has offered all of us. I hope to continue my attempts to remove the plank that has forcefully embedded itself in my ocular cavity. I will pray for God to give me peace in this regard.

2021 Resolution Tracker

Moses Miles Walked: 405.8 miles

Bible Progress: Ruth 1 - I need to reinvigorate my pursuit of this goal, cheer me on!

Books Read: 7

    Completed 

• The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons review here
• Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller review here
• The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick review here
• The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers review here
• Inspired: ... and Loving the Bible Again by Rachel Held Evans review here
• The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge review here
• The Jesus I Never Knew by Philip Yancey review here

    Currently Reading

    Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper